i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
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Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
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You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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