i don't plan on having that self control this summer
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
