There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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