worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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