At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
