So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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