he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
