Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
