Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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