He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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