problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
