last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I intend to get homeless drunk
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
