I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
