Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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