SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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