So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
