I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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