I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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