I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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