I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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