she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
