I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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