Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
