we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
