when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
