covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
