Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
