listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I understand Curling. That high.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
