I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
