We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
