Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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