discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
