I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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