he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
