who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
