Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
