I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
