I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
