last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
