nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
