I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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