4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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