your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
zippers are such a cool invention
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
