I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
