Sry I called you an 8
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
