Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
