That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
