i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so let's talk penis.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
