I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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