making cat noises will not fix the situation.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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