They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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