i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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