I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
