Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
