The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This girl is more easily done than said...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So vagazzling was a success
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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