she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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