Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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