I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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