Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
