And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
