Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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