sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Come on in and take your pants off
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