Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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